I wrote this this morning... "what a good experience for me"... Was that me?
Well -- I had the list in plain view. I spoke the expectations out loud. I explained the schedule. I think I did what a good mother ought. Maybe I skipped something.
Then I said, "I need to practice the piano for Sunday, you clean the kitchen after breakfast." This is not a new chore for them, by the way. Old hat. Mid-practice/cleaning session... they were goofing off.
One warning -- cut it out. Nice tone of voice. Made eye contact. They knew what I was talking about.
Then pretty close to the blow my hat stage... WHAT IN THE WIDE WORLD ARE YOU GUYS DOING???? Stern, very stern!
They were playing with the light saber and TOTALLY NOT WORKING!!
Why can't my kids work unsupervised? They are 12 and 8... the 6 year old was standing there watching them. I would too if I were 6.
I was NOT goofing off (reading, computer, eating, sleeping)... I was practicing the piano. I was NOT expecting to do more than I can do. I was NOT expecting them to do a new task with out training them first. (Does practicing the piano sound frivolous? I have to play for the congregation on Sunday -- for my first time ever in my life... it's not frivolous - let me tell you. I'm scared out of my wits.) Maybe that's the problem.
::sigh::
I let them know that we will NOT be rewarded for bad behavior and there will be no library movie with popcorn and there will be MORE days of 6:00 alarm time, until they get it that there is a time for work and a time for play.
If you have the secret to this puzzle... will you kindly click on the word comment and clue me in? You konw -- some character training that I've misplaced. Some horse pill to swallow -- to turn them into work horses. Some motivational DVD's that we need to rewind or something?
Waited expectantly, while munching on my words from this morning -- they are a little dry, stale, bitter actually,
Jennifer
OK, so I can totally relate. My two boys, 9 and 7 do not work well together. My 5 year old girls is the boss of all the girls, so if they follow, things get done. If not, she gets frustrated, not that I know where that comes from. :lol:
ReplyDeleteWhat I have found works the best is to give them each a task and have them work hard to complete it and when the complete it they come and report to me. Then they get assigned their next task. When they do a good job, I make a big deal out of it and usually give a privilege, such as computer time or a special treat after lunch.
The key for me is that they get overwhelmed with, "clean the kitchen" and quite honestly, so do I, so I try to break it down into simpler steps. Do you have a check off list for them to check off as they do it. They'd probably love that.
In all honestly however, today I cleaned the kitchen with the girls because they would never be able to stay focussed long enough to do it themselves.
Know that you are not alone Jennifer.
(((Jennifer)))
ReplyDeletethis is why you should let them play light sabers while you play Scrabble online with me *giggle*
really, though, i've been reading a great book and she speaks to this...God is continually training us, we do not perform perfectly the first time and He does indeed keep an eye upon us always ;-) please don't beat yourself up over this...continue on your plan of "no work no play" till it sinks in, and then joyfully go about the fun and the chore
that book, BTW, is "A Mother's Rule of LIfe" by Holley Pierlot
One of my favorite mothering books offers some advice I try to keep in mind in these situations. Each time our children do not live up to our expectations, it is simply another opportunity to train them in the way they should go. I am blessed to have the opportunity to train them and try to remember that when I want to blow my top! Not always easy advice to adhere to, but very true.
ReplyDeleteI pray your piano playing goes well on Sunday!