Wednesday, April 16, 2014

How do I feel about Love

Well... well.. well...  Interesting that I should stumble across this subject.  Love - I feel that I don't really want to write about this subject - that's how I feel.

I see some young people around me who are "in love". I remember those days... as I look back, I think I can remember the physical feelings.  It's like they are in.  Like the looks... the laughter... the desire to be near.  To see someone across the room, or come in the door and zing - the feelings thrill you. 

I don't have that "like" stage anymore.

I think I'm not "in love" in this stage of my life.  Although I do LOVE things.

I love food.  LOL  too much...  but I wouldn't lay down my life for it.  I've gone through stages in my life where I've had very strict control of the food in my life.  I wish I could get back there...

I LOVE my kids.  I really do.  I hear people say, "I can't wait until they go to school."  I recently put 2 of my kidlets in school.  I can't wait for them to get off the bus each day and I ask them all kinds of questions - trying to pump them for information.  I miss them, and I miss that I don't know everything about their every day.  I really like my kids.  Even the kids that don't like me as much as I like them.  I had one tell me that they thought I've hated them since they were 8.  Oh my word - that cut like a knife. 

I cried...  I felt wounded for several days... I made a conscience effort to love the unlovely.  I sure do NOT want them to think that.  Why would they think that?  I just kept on keeping on - kept saying I love you.  Kept inviting them to tag along with me. I think THAT'S love... when we keep on keeping on! 

I want to train my kids how to love others.  How to be a friend.  I want to set them up the best way I know how.  Now some are getting to the age where they are making choices, and I don't have much input.  Well - I can input all I want, but whether it bounces off or soaks in is their choice.  So - I try to keep loving them even when they chose differently then I would want them to.  LOVE is still loving them even though they are different.

It's not giving up and walking away.

I've never been one who loves animals - as pets.  We've had many who have died - I never mourned that loss.  I don't love clothes shopping.  I went shopping Saturday - and an overly agressive sales cleark was annoying me.  I left that store not having spent all I could have spent.  I asked one clerk if they worked on commission - I think she was on crack.  Good grief...  shopping I do not love.  LOL

Maybe reading - I love reading.  I'll even read a bad book.  LOL  Bad as in not well written.  I'll usually regret it later - waste of my time.  I read lots of things - many signs.  Instruction manuals.  Newspapers... blogs... I think that is why I like FB so much - read, scroll, read, scroll, read...

Love... Friends and Family - I've found I'm not a good friend or sibling, or kid... wow - now that my kids are making choices to so closely mirror some of my own, I think - my poor parents.  I'm so glad I circled around and came back to their morals and beliefs.  I'm so glad I have sisters who love me and show me in very tangible ways.  I have a sister who called me today - for no reason.  That's love... not because she wanted anything -or needed anything - and it was a weird time... Sunday morning.  I REALLY like that sort of love! 

The romantic love - how do I feel about that?  I feel burnt out... some folks go from one relationship to another... I'm pretty much stuck in motherhood mode - not looking and not wanting anything more.  No desire... In fact - I'm thinking I need to lose some weight, so I can start wearing my wedding ring, just to keep questions at bay.  Stay away. 

Monday, April 14, 2014

#642 Back of a Police Car

"Your Friend Calls to say she saw you in the back of a police car Yesterday. What happened?"

You know what?  If a friend asked me that recently - I would LAUGH OUT LOUD! Literally...  I wouldn't be surprised.

March 29 - a Saturday night - I was driving home from working at Casey's.  Late at night - it was dark.  I got pulled over by a police car.  Hmm....  It could be multiple things - as I was reading a text from my dear daughter and I had no idea how fast I was going.

It was neither - I had a bulb burned out on the license plate.  After not showing the kind police man my license and registration or insurance papers (as both papers were out of date, that were in the glove compartment), he gave me a verbal warning. I showed him my old ones and he scanned my name, and found me to be an upstanding citizen.  He took my word for it.  Plus they have it in the system that my insurance is up to date.  Whew...    I saw a man and woman walking straight lines on the highway after being released - I do believe they were on the look out for drunk or drugged drivers.  Me - I got nothing.  Whew!!

One week and a day later.  April  6, on my way to church no less... pulled over again, this time by a sheriff.  I was speeding.  "Did I know how fast I was going," he kindly asked?  Not a clue...  67 in a 55 zone.  Oh me... once again - no current papers to show the man - and this time - not even a valid driver's license as it was left as home.  He walks back to his car and I'm praying that the fine will not be $300 or even $500 as I've so recently heard others received.  Please, oh please, oh please..... 

Just a verbal warning and a thank you for wearing my seatbelt. 

WHAT IN THE WORLD!!?!!  Oh happy day - I sure did Praise the Lord on my way to church THAT week. 

So - if some one ever says they see me sitting in the back seat of a police car - I'd say, "Third times a charm."  HA!  AND... a few days later - A Wednesday I believe, I was driving Dani home from Softball practice.  That's right... I see lights in my rear view mirror.  Oh no... oh no, oh no...  Out loud I say, "Oh Dani - a 3rd time, I can't believe it."  I pull over - and a fire truck ZOOMS past.  "Oh it's a fire - praise the Lord."  HA!  Sound odd I'm sure - but I've never been so happy to see a fire truck. 

There is an inside story to all of this - that someday God will reveal.  He is faithful and just... helping me to see people's true colors in all this.  I am happy to say that I am walking with him and doing the best I know how with what he has given me.  Praise the LORD I've never been in the back of a police car - other then during a school field trip.  But by the grace of God. 

Monday, February 24, 2014

Believing God - Experiencing a Fresh EXPLOSION of Faith

I am going to be doing a Bible Study on Sunday Nights.  Beth Moore wrote a book - Believing God.  I look forward to seeing what God has in store for me!

Friday, February 21, 2014

The Worst Thanksgiving Dish I have Ever Had

Really - if anyone is cooking for me, I generally appreciate it.  Most thanksgiving dinners I've ever eaten, have been cooked by someone else.  It's going to be hard to pick a worst, because I like other people's cooking.  A lot. 

Some of MY OWN cooking that I haven't really appreciated have been boxed dressing.  Gag a maggot.  I hate the taste and the smell of dressing.  I think it's the sage.  I once found a box of corn bread dressing - oh heaven's to Betsy- I love me some corn bread - but it smelled and tasted just like sagey dressing - yuck.  In the bird, out of the bird, it's all the same.  Yuck.  So... sorry - if I offended anyone.  It's not you - it's me.  I'm picky.  Especially when it comes to sage, apparently.

I look forward to Thanksgiving every year - I must say.  It's the one holiday where I get to be with extended family.  I love my extended family.  Mom, Dad, Sisters, Brother-in-laws, nieces, nephews... mostly nieces.  My nephews live far far away and don't come to Thanksgiving - but it's the best I can get Thanksgiving.  One of my most favorite times of the year.  So if I must eat dressing - I will.  Over and over again - just to get to be close to my family. 

I read this paragraph to my daughter - and she said dressing?  You don't like dressing?  What kind?  Ranch?  I thought... hmm... why am I calling it dressing?  What do you call it?  STUFFING?!  Which is it at your house?  They are both the same thing - stuffing get stuffed generally, but we rarely stuff it.  What ever you call it - you can have it and mine too.  :)

Thursday, February 20, 2014


I had forgotten that I had written about this already.  So here are more things What Can Happen in a Second
A person can blink
A cat can blink
A sneeze can shoot germs 17 feet away
I can cross my legs
Crack my knuckles
I can hit back space and delete a mis spelled word
A knife can be plunged
Wedding cake can be cut
Wedding cake can be smeared or lovingly shared
Rice can be thrown
Birds can defecate
Seeds can be spread
A page can be turned
A thought can germinate
A weed can be pulled
Several feet can be walked
Even more feet can be ran
Much ground can be covered if sprinting
A muscle can be pulled
A snowflake can alight upon a nose
A body can shiver from a chill
A log can be thrown on a fire
A spark can fly up in the air
We can win or We can lose

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

What will your FB Status Updates be for the year 2017?

Let's see - in 2017 - I will be 47 years old. 

I will have a 22 year old girl, 18 year old boy, 16 year old girl, 14 year old girl, and a 12 year old boy.

So - that will somewhat influence my updates.  Here goes:

Welcome 2017 - I look forward to the year where all my offspring will be teenagers or above. 

Valentines Day this year will be filled with lovey dovey stuff times 5... oh my.

Last year of 6th grade - I won't be an elementary school mom much longer.

Should 47 year olds be trying to keep up with 14 year olds? 

Went shopping with a 18 and 16 year old boy today.  I'm ready for a foot rub.

When did my grocery bill for the month grow to 4 figures?

(Will I be posting about a wedding?  I'm not even going to go there ack!)

GRADUATION!!  Finally!  Woo Hoo!!

2 down, 3 to go.

Pass me the cookies. (I'll always love cookies - no matter what year it is)

Even so Lord Jesus COME!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Three Cheers for Houseplants - Far and Wide!

A Houseplant is Dying.  Tell it why it needs to live. Really?  You know - I have no houseplants right?  Well - the kids brought GRASS home from junior camp this summer.  It lasted several months.  Dead now, but really... ok - here goes.

This is an interesting topic.  My kids just read about photosynthesis recently  in botany.  As soon as the sun rises in the morning, the guard cells swell and the stomata open.  This allows a chemical in the air, called carbon dioxide, into the leaf.  The leaf uses the carbon dioxide to make food for the plant.  When the sun sets - it no longers does this.

Plants release oxygen into the air for us to breath.  The stomata allow oxygen to leave leaves so that we can breath it.  Plants clean the air by taking in carbon dioxide and replace it with oxygen.  Plants take water from the roots and combines it with light from the sun and the carbon dioxide from the air to make sugar for the plant and oxygen for all the rest of God's creation that needs oxygen.  The leaf actually takes the carbon dioxide and combines it with the water... it makes sugar and oxygen.  We can use some of that sugar from some plants to eat - like Maple Syrup.  The real stuff - not the sugar water from the grocery store.  Sap.  The leaf uses the sugar for food, sends the rest of it down to the rest of the plant, and releases the oxygen into the air for you and me to breath. 

God is good yes?  So Houseplant - won't you fulfill your God created duty and clean my air for my family (did I tell you it also is a purifier as well - I may have forgotten)  All KINDS of jobs it does, just by living. 

In addition to it's "duties" and "jobs" a plant is beautiful.  I'm certain if we gave the plant 7 positives for each job it had to perform it would revive it's will to live.  Plus I would have to feed and water it... that would probably help.  Guess what?  I don't actually have any house plants - why?  Because I'm selfish and I forgot to feed and water it.  I'll just open the windows every once in a while and use the oxygen that is outside. 

So -this causes me to ponder...  in winter - when there are no leaves on trees and the sap is not flowing freely - how do we get oxygen?  Do trees and plants make so much in spring and summer that it doesn't run out in the fall and winter when there aren't any green leaves.  What about up in Antarctica... is there less oxygen up there?  I know the HIGHER we get - up on a mountain top there is less oxygen...  so winter - no green leaves or grass.  Less oxygen?  Or does the oxygen created by the green leaves in the jungle make enough to help us continents that are having winter weather - it circulates the oxygen around the globe.  Good thing it's windy.  Blow wind blow.

I really should thank God more for my blessings.  The blessing of oxygen from house plants - even if I don't have any.

Friday, February 14, 2014

A Ransom Note - again totally fiction...

$1,000 or you won't ever see your cat again!!

Well - that's unfortunate.  "I hope they enjoy the cat, I was thinking as I opened the front door."  The above note was taped to my front door and wondering who ever thought I would pay $1000 for a cat.  It's an outdoor cat.  I'm certain this cat - whom the kids named Joey is #24.  Cats are disposable around here. 

So - now I'm worried - there is a mad person wandering around with a cat.  They are mad because they assume I love my cat.  Cat are really mice catchers.  That' all.  They are very good at it - even though they stay outside of my house - no mouse ever enters my domain.  It's a wonderful arrangement.  I feed it some cheap cat food - spend $5 a month pretty much. (I big bag will last 2 months).  It hates the cheap food - so it supplements it's diet with mice.  Win/Win!

Now... how do I go about finding another cat. 

I wonder if I need to call the humaine society about the mad man with a stolen cat? 

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Today's Bible Class

The kids and I are trying to memorize James this school year.  In fact - what it has turned into is a bible study of James, and every once in a while we memorize a verse.  Or the first few verses of a chapter before we get bogged down with the memory work - but we continue to study it every most days. 

Today's study...   Amazing how God works.  James - wonderful book for me to be studying right now.  chapter 3...

13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth.
15 This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.
16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

David Roper wrote in his book Growing Slowly Wise, "The wise don't have to press.  They don't have to fob off or foist their faith on anyone.  They just leave it behind.  Wherever they go and whatever they do, they sow seeds of righteousness that spring up in others to eternal life.  This is the last legacy of the wise.  It is the way they  make their mark on the world.  'The only way to make people good is to be good,' mused George MacDonald.  'Remember the beam and the moat' (Matthew 7:3-5)"

The wisdom that is from above...
is first pure
then peaceable
and easy to be entreated
full of mercy
and good fruits
without partiality
and without hypocrisy.

Yeah... that.  The wise don't have to press.  Especially when they start out by saying, "we will not pressure you." The wise don't have to press..... they just leave it behind.  :)  Like an aroma. 

My friend Jill just joined the church Sunday night - and in her testimony - how she got saved... she wanted what her friend had.  Her friend didn't have to press.  She just left Jill wanting what ever it was that she had.  No pressure.  If you want to make someone good - be good.  FANTASTIC food from the word today.  Praise God for that!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Someone is Holding Something Blue... is it you?

A man holding a blue pacifier.  His wife just handed it to him - they are going to have a baby and she hopes it is a boy.  He is thinking - boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy....  a boy?  I hope it's just one boy. (that is totally fictional by the way!)

A girl holding a blue flower.  This little girl just bent over and picked a flower from in the tall grass in the field behind her house.  She is wondering who would most enjoy her flower.  Her first thought was MOM!  But she just gave mom flowers yesterday.  Maybe the older lady next door would enjoy the blue flower.  (this too is fictional, becuase you know - there is 72" of snow on the ground... give or take - imagination - it's a wonderful thing).

A boy holding a blue ball.  The blue ball just bounced into a puddle and splashed water all over his face and down his clean blue shirt.  It looks a little like he spilled his drink down his front or something.  He is holding the ball away from him as it drips, and drips.  His hands are wet and dirty - if he puts the ball down, it will be more wet and more dirty.  "I think I'll walk the ball to the sand box", he says to himself, "and leave it there and go inside and change my shirt.  Will I be in trouble?
 Where did this ball come from anyway?"

A doctor holding a blue glove.  Why won't my nurse order me XL gloves?

A nurse holding a blue glove.  Why won't the secretary order me Medium gloves?

If you were holding something blue - what would you be thinking?

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

A Beloved Family Tradition

There once was a time that we realized we had a beloved family tradition.  We didn't ever call it a tradition, but it dawned on us that is WAS a tradition in our family - and we love that it is so.

One year at Christmas my dad said, "Why don't we have mom tell us the Christmas story."  She said, "Me?"  Yep - she just started in Luke - and said for us word for word... One night there were shepherd abiding in the field... all of it.  With out skipping a beat.  He realized she had it memorized.  I'm not sure if she did.  I didn't know it. 

After 55 years of hearing the Luke 2 Christmas story during the Christmas season - she had it memorized. I can still see her sitting in the chair just telling us the Christmas story unhindered by any book.  Flowing from her in her beautiful story telling voice.  I'm so glad we have that family tradition of reading of the Christmas story from Luke 2.  I hope it's one I can pass on to my children.  So very important... what a wonderful thing to be able to treasure!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Myself in Third Person

As though you were  a character in a book.

There once was a lady named Jennifer. Joyful Jeffiner, as some may say. Ironic that I say lady - because she feels like just a person, or even a girl.  Not a lady.  Lady sounds like Queen Victoria. 

She is on the short side - better then on the tall side - and on the large size - better then... well - not really.  She looks like a worn out athlete, to be honest.  Those short stubby strong muscular legs, with a round fleshy body mounted on top of them.  She likes to wear her hair short, or else she has to manage it.  The less to be managed the better.  A hat would be her favorite thing - if they didn't make her head itch so much.

If you were to sit off and watch her - her face would look elastic.  Frowning and nodding as she listens to her friends or children talk... throwing her head back and laughing uproariously at what ever was so funny at that moment.  She has laugh lines, and not worry lines. 

Thinking of those ladies attributes - she is old fashioned in that she appreciates manners, but fresh in that if it's funny and not mannerly, then by all means - go ahead, but don't hurt anybody.  For example?  She has a photo album with several pages of strangers in awkward poses.  Women in polyester pants whose granny undies are up high then their waistband as they sit down.  Take a picture - laugh and hope no one ever takes a picture of you like that.

Oh look - she had kids.  5 of them.  She tries to greet each one with a friendly smile to make sure not a one feels left out or over looked.  Off they go...

Am I close?

Friday, February 7, 2014

Something I've Lost

I paid $30 for a toe ring once.  Too much probably.  I thought it looked cool.  Made my feet look younger.  It was a fun to thing to be able to wear while wearing flip flops.  Pretty - expensive looking.  Nice.

It's lost.  Sometimes I look down at my feet - if setting on the couch and have my feet up on the table, and wonder - where is that toe ring?  I don't even remember taking it off. 

Where could I have lost it?  I would wear it swimming - I wonder if it slipped off while my toes were cold and wet one evening.

I wonder if it broken and fell off because I wore it so much. 

I wonder if I did take it off when I had to wear it with closed toe shoes and someone  saw it and threw it away.  Some people in my life didn't like me to have nice or new things.  I have had several things broken, or throw away, deleted, gone missing... so I wonder if my toe ring was one of those things.  I guess I'll never know. 

I should buy a new toe ring.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

ESA - not a disease

If you live in Iowa - you need to read this and take appropriate action.

You can click here if you want to skip right to it.  If you would rather read the blog first - by all means - go ahead, goat head.

Action Alert
Support HF 2090 - Education Savings Accounts!

House File 2090 would create Education Savings Accounts for students to attend nonpublic schools or homeschool.  The amount would be the average State per-pupil aid (~ $5,500 this year).  This bill passed out of subcommittee today and will now be considered by the entire House Education Committee.

The amount of each grant per student would be the average State per-pupil aid (~$5,500 this year).  These funds could be used for private school tuition & fees, some forms of private instruction, tutoring, educational therapies, special education needs, and other qualified expenses.

The bill includes multiple levels of fraud protection and does not add any regulations on nonpublic schools or homeschoolers.  If funds remain in the account when a child graduates high school, they could use those funds to attend an Iowa college or university.

Numerous studies have found that school choice programs improve academic outcomes for public and private school students.  There has never been a reputable study that has shown programs such as these have hurt public schools in any way.  Public schools will retain their basic property tax and local option sales tax revenues under this proposal.

We are home educators here - but even if we weren't we believe in the choice to be one if you want to be!  Make your voice heard, please.  

Thank You!

A New Book

This is a DRAFT that I'd forgotten about... I wrote it when I first got my new book from my sister.  It's funny to read what I wrote then (November 2013) and now. (02/05/2014)  I'll go ahead and post it - you can read it out of order - it won't hurt you.  

I was given a new book.

This friend knows me well - I love books.  Well... this book is different then any book I've ever been given.

Title: 642 Things to Write About

She said, "You are a good writer, when I saw this book I thought of you."  My first reaction - NOooo.... I'm not either.  I've never been trained.  I don't follow good grammar rules.  I'm not good.  BUT if I would have said all of those things I would have been saying to her, "You don't have any idea what you are talking about."  I don't like it when people tell me that.  So I accepted her gift and said, "Thank you."

Being the reader that I am - and lover of books - I've skimmed it already.  It's interesting.  There is a person.... (could be a man or a woman, you decide), Po Bronson.  They got challenged to write a book called 642 things to write about.  Not thinking it was possible... but liking the idea... Po sent out an e-mail.  Whom they sent it to is probably key to the project being successful.  They sent it to a writers Grotto.  San Francisco Writers' Grotto actually. In 24 hours there were 642 ideas given to put in book form.  So now I have this book.

Will I write about 642 things?  I've read through some of the ideas... and they seem... odd - I probably won't.  LOL  But one never knows... I may feel a little odd some day and write away.  But I AM going to use this book.  I'll blog and use #642 as a label.  I should NEVER run out of blogging ideas this way.  I'm looking forward to getting those creative juices flowing - then every once in a while you'll have to tolerate photos of my kiddos.  Because that's my true love.  Funny thing - I don't think I'm doing a very good job at that either.  See... I probably need to work on that.  See the good in - me.  :/  Probably... but not today.

Today I will write about, "WHAT CAN HAPPEN IN A SECOND?"

In a second we can breathe, or not breathe any longer.  We can be done breathing in 1 second.  That could have eternal consequences.

In a second a dog can jump on you and lick your face.  Ugh - that would be disappointing.

In a second you can change your mind about what to wear. In fact - things in your mind that change in a split second.  Split second... does that mean that you would split a second into parts?  A split second... even less time.

In a second I can turn around.  I need to do that more often.  Instead of staying in the room... turn around... walk out.

In a second I can add a math problem.  Some people can't do that.  I'm very thankful that my mind can do math mentally, and it doesn't take too long.

In a second I can give thanks.  I have read books telling me that GIVING THANKS is so important.  When I forget to do that I can tell.  I get discouraged.

In a second we can tell people how we are feeling with our faces.  Just a glance at someone's countenance will show people just exactly how we are thinking.  A lot of people thing they can camouflage that...  I'm a people watcher.  I love watching people's faces.  That's an interesting hobby.

Isn't this an interesting topic?  What in something that you thought of that I didn't... about what can happen in a second?

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

A NEW Thing

My sister gave me a book...  642 Things to Write About.  Instead of writing in the book, as the author assumed we would, I'm going to use it to blog.  :)  I'm alwaying thinking - oh, I should blog about that, then don't.  If I will set up a schedule and do this regularly, I may blog spontaneously more often.  Ya think?

I really like that my sister gave me a gift that she thought would be a strength for me.  I don't really see myself as a writer.  I'm going to do it anyway - because I love my sister, and maybe she sees something in me that I don't see myself. 

My first post just so happens to be a negative one - but they won't all be that way.  Don't be alarmed.

So here goes...  my first of 642 (maybe, I might skip some - like the astronaut one.. we'll see) 

The meanest Thing anyone has ever said to you

You know what?  I have a LOT of things that someone has said to me that are pretty mean.  If I get started on them all - It could lead to depression.  So - I'm going just pick one, and I'll end on a positive note.

"My mother hates you so much that she wants to claw your eyes out."

Instantly my  mind started racing - what?  Why?  What in the world?

I was so stunned that I didn't say anything and he turned away and walked out of the room.  Later he confessed that he'd made that up and he was just trying to hurt me. 

In the mean time - between the accusation and the confession - I didn't mention it to his mother.  I wasn't sure what to say really.  Should I asked how I offended her?  I finally decided that if she was that offended, she should have addressed me about it and since she didn't, I would just wait.

BUT - I didn't go out of my way to seek her out.  Didn't call.  Didn't write.  But - that was normal - I don't normally do those things either.

So now... I know that he truly is a terrible person.  Why would he lie about his mother that way - make her sound like such a terrible person?  That's shameful in that respect.  But he hates me so much that he intentionally lies about a loved one to me just to hurt me. 

I've finally decided that things like this are a blessing from God.  How?  It's is revealing his true character.  oops - guess he shouldn't have done that.  I'm not holding a grudge, I'm looking into the window of his soul.  I don't like what I see.