Monday, February 10, 2014

Myself in Third Person

As though you were  a character in a book.

There once was a lady named Jennifer. Joyful Jeffiner, as some may say. Ironic that I say lady - because she feels like just a person, or even a girl.  Not a lady.  Lady sounds like Queen Victoria. 

She is on the short side - better then on the tall side - and on the large size - better then... well - not really.  She looks like a worn out athlete, to be honest.  Those short stubby strong muscular legs, with a round fleshy body mounted on top of them.  She likes to wear her hair short, or else she has to manage it.  The less to be managed the better.  A hat would be her favorite thing - if they didn't make her head itch so much.

If you were to sit off and watch her - her face would look elastic.  Frowning and nodding as she listens to her friends or children talk... throwing her head back and laughing uproariously at what ever was so funny at that moment.  She has laugh lines, and not worry lines. 

Thinking of those ladies attributes - she is old fashioned in that she appreciates manners, but fresh in that if it's funny and not mannerly, then by all means - go ahead, but don't hurt anybody.  For example?  She has a photo album with several pages of strangers in awkward poses.  Women in polyester pants whose granny undies are up high then their waistband as they sit down.  Take a picture - laugh and hope no one ever takes a picture of you like that.

Oh look - she had kids.  5 of them.  She tries to greet each one with a friendly smile to make sure not a one feels left out or over looked.  Off they go...





Am I close?