Wednesday, March 28, 2007

My Walk Today

I'm in this little contest... trying to lose weight you know. Well -- this week I'm trying to get in a little more cardio excercise than normal. Let me tell you about my walk today.

OK -- so I left at 2:00 (on the dot). Got the littles down for a nap, and the olders either doing school, or watching PBS. Strict instructions not to mess up. LOL

I started on my normal route, with my faithful companion Ebony -- but when I got to the top of the hill... I thought (that's the problem) I thought... why don't I turn right instead today.

So -- I did.

Lah dee dah!! How nice. Different scenery. Oh my -- walking right into the wind... lucky for me it's not far until I turn the corner.

Around the corner... lifting my knees high -- pumping those arms... listening to my drama part on my CD player... BARK, BARK. Oh my... I turn around and there is a BIG dog that lives in the house on the corner, why I haven't ever noticed that before? EBONY takes charge. He stands there with his feet planted. I say sweetly, "Come on Ebony!" I'm begging... I think he notices because he just turns around and follows me. Whew...

Well -- I keep on trucking... feeling fresh...

Ebony flushes out 3 birds. I think they were pheasants. Well -- I know they were, I think 2 baby males and 1 mommy. The babies are small but colorful already. My dad would have been so excited. He told me all about when Ebony flushed out 2 quail a few weeks ago. He ate one of them, so I was very happy that those pheasants could fly, and high.

Well -- I kept on marching -- almost to the stop sign. I had set my alarm, and was going to turn around after 30 minutes. A nice hour long walk. How nice....

When I get to the stop sign, I still have 8 minutes left to make 30 minutes. Oh my... now what do I do?

Well -- I think I'll turn left and walk in a big circle. I can't see the road that I turn on from where I'm standing... but it's just a ways down there...

I think instead of turning around for a short 44 minute walk, I go in a circle for a longer walk.

Now I'm walking on a 2 lane highway.

Whoa -- there are WAAY more cars on this highway then I ever saw before. How nice of them to pull way over into the other lane to go around me... and my wayward dog. I wish he would stay in the ditch.

Ewww... Ebony found a dead deer, in the ditch. I don't really want to look at it... but Ebony is running around all excited and sniffing it. I start screaming, "NO -- EBONY COME -- GET AWAY FROM THE DEER." The deer is only 1/2 a deer... yuck -- I hear a vehicle coming, so I turn and start walking again... yelling one last time, "I'M LEAVING -- COME ON EBONY!". And I mean it... I keep on walking ... I don't want to WATCH him eat it if he chooses to. (Gag!)

He chooses me over the dead deer. Whew...

We are coming up to a house... my beeper goes off..

Oh -- I think -- I'm 1/2 way through. I look for the road to turn on... I can't see it. So -- I look back... maybe I can turn around and just finish my walk where I came from. I can't see that road either. Good grief... what do I do now? I guess I'll just keep on going -- I think I'm almost there...

Now I come upon a house -- and I can hear another dog. So does Ebony. My word... He starts trotting out across the highway. All of a sudden I picture myself having to explain why Ebony is no longer around -- he's probably going to end up in the ditch with the deer... 1/2 deer, we left behind. So I start screaming again, "EBONY COME!" I finally see the dog... it's in a kennel. It jumps up on the fence....

... it starts climbing the fence....

I start walking faster... good thing this is a cardio walk and not a stroll...

That dog climbs the fence to the top -- and apparently there is a roof -- because he does not jump out. Whew... it looks like a grey hound, and I heard those things run pretty fast. I think actually it's a coon dog. I wonder if I look like a coon?

Luckily Ebony chose me once again... I'm beginning to think Ebony is just a coward... and not choosing me.

My legs are getting tired. I think I've walked further than I've walked in a long time... plod, plod, plod my feet are hitting the ground.

Oh -- gracious... I can now see the road to turn on. It's a good thing.

Oh look -- there are some calves.

Oh look -- there are the mommas. Momma cows are very protective... ALL the momma cows in the field are looking at me. Every single one of them have stopped munching on momma cow feed and is looking up at me. Well - maybe they are looking at Ebony. Or maaayybe they are looking at my red sweat shirt I'm wearing and getting ready to CHAAAAAAARGE!?! YIKES... I start pumping my arms again. Let's go Ebony! Let's go!!!

The calves were cute though -- maybe I'll drive by in the safety of my vehicle and show the kiddos... maybe -- I drive a Red Van... maybe not. LOL

Oh -- the corner where I turn... the corner!!! YEAH -- normally I'd be 1/2 way done... woo hoo!!! I'm on the home stretch.

I stretch out my legs and really go -- I'm pumping my arms high... for about 10 strides.

MAN ALIVE!!! I'm pooped.... I just want to sit down here and take a nap... can I do that? No -- Ebony would probably lick my face. Don't want that after he was licking that deer's -- 1/2 deer's face. (gag!)

Oh my aching legs... my knees... plod, plod, plod...

I turn the next corner. The neighbor's little puny dog comes out and barks -- but I don't even care... if he attacks, I'll fall on him and kill it -- or knock it unconscious -- or maim it so it can't chase me anymore ... I'm so tired I don't mind his incessant little yapping... maybe if he bites me, they'll call an ambulance and I can get a ride home. No more walking...

Oh nice -- there is the owner.

"Hello," I put a smile/grimace on my face, "I can't stop -- the littles are napping! Are you enjoying the weather?" I can't hear his response because the wind is blowing...

Hmmm... as I turned that last corner, I am all of a sudden facing into the wind. The same wind that I started out in. I was marching along quite smartly at the beginning... now I think when I lift my foot, it gets blown backwards and really I'm making no forward progress at all.

Sigh... this is the walk from hell... when will it be over???

Plod, plod, plod... crawl... No -- I didn't crawl, but I sure felt like it. I didn't crawl, because I didn't want Ebony licking me... remember the 1/2 deer? Who ever said dog's mouths are clean never lived out here in the boonies -- in deer country.

The last corner -- the home stretch...

I think -- I wonder if I can just roll down this hill...


Home -- Sweet -- Home

Only 1 hour and 14 minutes later.

I'm such a wimp...