Tuesday, September 1, 2009

So... I was running at the track today

Oh alright already -- I wasn't really running. It just sounds so much better to say running instead of shuffling. Be kind to the old lady.

I was running at the track today and a man stopped me and said, "You don't know me from Adam, but did you know there was an attempted child abduction in the park this week here in town."

Ahhhh!!! My kids were scattered all around me... 2 in the bleachers... one by the gate... 1 running behind... well in front of me really.

Yeah right... what are you? Some kind of weirdo? Grow up -- this is Knoxville... teeny weeny Knoxville. I come here all the time -- who would want attempt to abduct my child anyway? Well -- now that you think about it -- they are kind of cute from far away. Sometimes they stink up close...

So I hollar at my kiddos and say, "Keep up with me if you can." GROAN!! Oh... stop yer moanin'. I'm trying to save your hide from an abduction you loons. OK, OK... you can go sit in the middle of the football field while I run around you. Mansel said, "How is that better... they are still very far away?"

Who knows? But I could probably identify the abductors if they ran all the way across the football field while attempting to abduct my child from me.... then I could chase them down as they were trying to flee with said child... since I would be running childless -- I could probably catch them. Maybe.

The kind man had in the mean time lapped me. (Sigh) That happens often while I'm running at the track. So you see... I'm not really running am I? I really am shuffling -- but, oh never mind. Anyway... the kind man said, "Well -- I'm done for the day. I'm Steve Funk, b.t.w. Blah, blah, blah... we chatted some more, but I don't remember it word for word." He did mention that he was a police man from Indianola. I thought as he left... either he is really nice, or really weird. I think I'll google him. Guess what? He really is Deputy Steve Funk from Indianola. Go figure. AND... there really was an attempted child abduction in Knoxville this week -- per this news article on the KNIA/KRLS web-site.

Scary times we live in... bummer... I was living in my never never land... never happen in Knoxville. Now I have to join the parnoids out there. Sigh.

I was really encouraged that a police lapped me actually. I would feel safe if I lived in Indianola. Thank You Steve Funk!