Sigh
I inherited a gene from my mother. It's the "dogs are disgusting and rude and I hate them" gene. If you are a dog lover... then feel free to quit reading and go pet a dog or something. I do not want to hear about all the good dogs out there.
Good Bye.
OK -- now that it's just us... I think I'll vent a little. Is that OK?
Did you know I'm training for a 5k?
No -- I did NOT just change the subject. I know I have ADD... but I'm not that bad.
Oh look a quarter!!
Just kidding.
Anyway. Training for a 5k... it includes running. Well -- OK at my speed... shuffling. I have to shuffle long distances sometimes. South of me... HILLS. I try not to shuffle there very often. Although I might consider it -- seeing as the dogs are less rude in that direction.
I can only go north up a very steep hill. Once at the top of that hill I can only run 1/2 a mile... oh wait... I can only shuffle 1/2 a mile in either direction before I encounter dogs. Some more rude then others. You may remember... I've met the neighbor's dogs. Some dogs are so rude.
A while after that incident my DH was reading a running magazine and it happened to mention rude dogs. What to do about them. Keep on running it says. Oh -- nice advice. I'll have to remember that. Just ignore them... they'll go away. Yeah -- but... what if you have the "dogs are disgusting and rude and I hate them" gene. I'm pretty sure they can sense that... and I have proof.
Today -- I went runn-- OK -- I went shuffling. I had run 3 miles on Thursday. When I passed the rude dog's house -- the slick blue no named one - he barked at me from inside the house. HA HA!! Triumph. So Friday I thought I'd go for a short and faster run. YES... I'll call it a run. Just one mile.. and most of it is down hill. Ebony was with me... but behind me... so I'll call it running.
I got to the rude dog's house -- not even thinking of the dog -- so no fear was dripping from my armpits at that time. I'm sure they couldn't smell a thing. Besides the fact that I hadn't showered yet... but well... you know. NO FEAR... they were not smelling fear when they came running at me. My first thought. "The magazine says keep on running and ignore them." So I did! I kept on running while the slick 4 legged dog was running towards me and growling!! Then when I could smell HIM I yelled GO HOME!! Then when he bit at me and tore my shirt I started YELLING REALLY REALLY LOUDLY!!! COME GET YOUR DOG!! GET YOUR DOG AWAY FROM ME!! COME OUT HERE AND GET YOUR DOG!!
So they yelled out the window... "Round 'em up Bo."
I swear to you -- I hate dogs... they are so rude.
No dogs were injured on my walk home...My pride was very hurt. It was amazing to my how my body reacted to that stupid slick 4 legged dog. I had to stop and sit down before walking the rest of the way home. The biting didn't break the skin, but I've got a bruise and it's sore and well -- I'm mad. I scared my DH 1/2 to death because I tried to call him and tell him about it but started crying during the middle of the message and he thought I was dying. Well -- not dying... you know... but definitely worse then a little nip. My DD said, "Why did he bite you -- did you kick him?" Kick him?? No way!! I was following directions... just keep on running. Who ever said, "dumb dog" sure was right!
2 words--Pepper Spray. Just make sure you're upwind.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you should report to the police that you go bit. Take pictures of your owie. I know you're in the sticks, but most places have a 'three dog bites and the dog has to take a nice long nap'.
And I love dogs. But not ones that bite. They are evil. And should be destroyed.
I don't like dogs, either! I agree, you should report it.
ReplyDeleteI was looking through my archives and saw that you were one of my early commenters...just thought I'd stop by! Glad you're still blogging, too!
I was gonna say Pepper spray too!
ReplyDeleteOk, you made me laugh out loud. I don't like dogs either. They make me so nervous I just freeze when I am walking. People act like you are so bizarre, thanks for the funny post
ReplyDelete